As Close As I'll Ever Come to Marcel Proust

Like most Inside the Actors Studio junkies, I've been mentally preparing for my appearance on the show someday when my brilliance has been generally acknowledged. Now that notanillusion (by way of Doppelganger) has posted her own responses to James Lipton's/Bernard Pivot's/Marcel Proust's questionnaire, I feel entitled to do the same:

What is your favorite word?
Brouhaha. Don't you feel better just saying it?

What is your least favorite word?
Panties. *shudder* Is that an item of clothing an adult woman should be wearing?

What is your favorite curse word?
I've never quite understood whether this means the one I like the most or the one I use the most. The one I like the most is "shitload"; it's so, um, evocative. But the one I use the most is "fuck" and its variant "fuck me."

What sound or noise do you love?
The plish-plash of the ocean, the running of a river.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Any sudden loud noise, but especially those earsplitting alarms parking garages use to let people on the street know someone's coming out.

What turns you on or excites you?
Good writing, beautiful music, good food.

What turns you off?
Self-righteousness.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Chef. Except for that whole getting up early and working hard part.

What profession other than yours would you not like to attempt?
Most of them, but let's go with "toll collector."

And finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Elizabeth I, Ben Franklin, Katharine Hepburn, and a few of the gang are waiting for you at the sundae bar."